I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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