So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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