How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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