so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
