Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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