just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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