Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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