whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
