if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
