he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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