whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
