idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize