He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
