how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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