There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
