The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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