I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
