which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
