Please, let me fuck your mom
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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