im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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