Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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