He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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