R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
