Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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