Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
okay pat passed out under dana's car
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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