he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
