If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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