absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
