Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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