You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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