Screwed.edu
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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