omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
