I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
