In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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