as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
