Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
