She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
