we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
