so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
