Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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