After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
