I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
