He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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