my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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