No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
