Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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