She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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