I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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