I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
