I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well I just put wine in my tea
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
