already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
