Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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